Nowadays, in a late modern society we see the difficulties that are related to the ambiguity of the term “identity”. It rises from so many questions . Beside the fundamental questions, like “Who do I want to be, which kind of person and personality?” and the questions like “How come that I feel like the same person in my whole life, although many and very crucial things changed and will change, like my age and life cycles, marital status, my friendships, residence, my religious beliefs, and social values? What enables me to feel being the same “I”, the same ‘self’, or ‘person’ in all the different roles, that I have to play, with all my different qualities, in the changing course of world events?
With all those questions and in this circumstances you see my identity above… sorry it’s actually “the unknown”. Why am I calling it like that? The answer is really simple: I don’t even know my identity because it’s such a puzzle and in this essay I’m going to explain it as far as I know.
When you first look at the picture, it’s really normal that you can’t understand anything. I may seem complex at first since the “me” in its continuity results from a developmental process, in which the adolescent at last passes through. “There is nothing you keep, there is only your reflection.” is one of the lyrics that I love most. It’s a meaningful commentary on our humanity in regards to what we leave behind. ‘Your reflection’ which I believe means that while we don’t take anything with us, what we do in life matters based on the impact we leave on the places and more importantly the people around us. It’s just such a profound lyric that is really difficult to shake off once you hear it.
Next to the lyric, there is a picture with a tree and person on it. It’s my favorite band called Manchester Orchestra’s one of the albums cover. It actually means ‘my life’, ‘my life cycle’. Tree is a fundamental widespread myth or archetype in many of the world’s mythologies, religious and philosophical traditions. For example, the tree of knowledge connecting to heaven and the underworld, and the tree of life connecting to all forms of creation, are both forms of the world tree or a cosmic tree. The picture basically expresses that I pushed myself to become who I want to be, to determine what enables me to feel being the same ‘I’, the same ‘self’. I climbed the steps one by one and when I look up, I can finally see my aim…
Above the lyric, there is my drawing self but the thing that I want to mention is the symbols behind it. I was very insecure in the past just because I care very much about what others think of me. The blue line behind my drawing self means insecurity which as much as I thought I could not handle just like drowning in the sea. The white sphere on the top of the picture states that I have problems with myself and I want to find the way out. The black line on the sphere is the prove that I found the way out and became who I am right now.
Next to my drawing self there is a naked body which I painted. I used some of my drawings since as I pour out my emotions through art, I concentrate on releasing all these hidden emotions which come from my Emotional Identity. Also, drawing and painting can create a better grasp of my varying feelings.
The body expresses my feminist personality which formed by the challenging, helpful, supportive information through my experience since the “Nurture” has a powerful impact on human traits. The body expresses that feminism is being who you are - being the woman that you are, without fears of judgement or a joke. It’s being successful, not in a materialistic way, but in the way you want to be. It’s about doing what you want to do in life, fighting for what you want - not waiting for others to give you what you need. However, there are still obstacles for women in doing that. The main solution for that is not to be quiet and yellow line on my drawing self represents it. The dark blue chain on the yellow line means that I’m not afraid of talking about this issue. Besides, the red square under the body states my strong personality formed after my self-confidence problem.
In the middle of the picture there is a sea, this represents the willingness to try new things and think outside the box which includes insightfulness, originality and curiosity. Also, it is the measure of how I interact with others which includes tactfulness, kindness and loyalty. In addition to all these, it expresses my changeable personality which make me think that personality traits are also relatively stable, but changeable with effort and good timing.
In brief, I had some problems with myself because I was obsessed with what other people think of me. However, I pushed myself to overcome those obstacles to become who I am right now. With lots of effort and good timing my strong personality formed after my self-confidence problem which enables me to make a difference in everywhere.
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